Day 7: Confession #7 “Preparation, ANTICIPATION and Constipation” part 3

The final installment of the trilogy…has the Anticipation been killing you? I am such a nerd.

Now that I have nested, exhausted the Lifetime movies available on On Demand, ate wa-a-a-y to many cupcakes, obsessively checked my registries to see what people were buying me for my showers (you know you all did it too), all that is left to do, is wait, worry, and anticipate all things baby.

Boy, is 40-weeks a LONG time. To think, I am a lucky one who got to shave off a week with scheduled c’s. I would say from 34-weeks and every drawn-out day until delivery, you are-put a fork in me, done! Life sucks right now. You are definitely not having S-E-X (stop lying), and your ankles and feet look like they have a rubber bands around them, your stretch marks have become a prominent shade of purple (they later turn to glistening white) and have formed an intricate pattern on your once flat belly, so to take the edge off, you have most likely broken down and had a glass, or two, of wine but probably red so you feel like less of an ass. Awe…life is grande, isn’t it? Really, it is a hell of a lot better than it is going to be when that baby comes out screaming, so enjoy the cankles, your quiet times sitting on the couch eating bon bons while your husband gives your fat foot a rub, now. Life will never be about you, or your ailments again! Speaking of ailments. Constipation is a common problem during pregnancy. As many as half of pregnant women get constipated at some point…so don’t forget to take your prenatals with a stool softener. The last thing you want, or need now, is to be backed-up. You will have several days after the delivery for that.

Helpful tip: Ask your doctor for samples of prenatal vitamins… mine actually provided me with enough samples for the entire pregnancy. Score!


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