Day 30: Confession #30 (The Er’s)

Today, last blog-eve, I wish to discuss life without the Er’s. No, not the show, or the trauma room itself, but the er’s of words. Awhile back I read an article in MomSense Magazine referring to the er’s of life and I was intrigued. I realize that through out this 31-day journey I have offered, warranted or not, advice pertaining to topics discussed. I think many of them can be summed up by this post. I think by simply omitting the wishing er’s, and balancing our roles, we will be more content with ourselves and as parents. Are you wondering what the hell I am (crazy girl) talking about? Well, let me give you some examples: “I wish I were bett-er, thinn-er, pretti-er, wealthi-er, healthi-er and happi-er!” We all say these daily. If not out-loud than to ourselves…I don’t even think “freakishly lucky biotches” get a pass on these feelings. Even the thinnest of girls, still wants to be thinner. It is our competitive nature to think this way. However, I argue we should stop. A life without the thinking and wishing er’s sounds dreamy. I would love to wake up in the morning and say, “Wow, I am doing great, I look thin, I feel healthy, I have coffee in my cup (the good kind), my children think I am pretty cool…what more could a girl need!” Compared to the negative nightmare of, “Wow, I feel like shit, I need to find a shirt that makes me look thinn-er, hopefully this make-up will make look pretti-er, and my husband will think I am sexi-er, and maybe my kids will think I am a bett-er mom!” Instead of always trying to be bett-er, just do the best you can, with what you have. I have been saying this throughout these last 30 days, but the er’s make it easier to point-out. Next time you are at a playdate, hopefully drinking “champs”, you can stop your competitive subconscious from saying things, Like “I wish my son were better at using his sippy cup (yes, you will be this petty)”, or that you wish you were thinn-er than “Suzy homemaker”( I mean how can she be so thin from eating all those baked goods all the time, anyway?). Nothing good comes out of this way of thinking. You will be a better mom, prettier inside and out, and healthier mentally if you can stop thinking in terms of the er’s. Instead, let’s work on balancing what we have.

Everyday, I get a phone call between 8:28 and 9:15ish from my sister. Though they are usually short (limited time before she arrives to work, or before I loose my “talking” window), I truly cherish them and look forward to hearing that ring. Today she started by saying, “I just read your “journal blog” and it made me tear-up (yeah, she is a little behind). I said, “I know, it is pretty sad to know that is how I felt.” She said she really wanted to reply in the comments section to offer advice not only to me, but my readers…but her I-Pad just didn’t allow her to (technically difficulties). She said, “you know you can’t be good at everything all the time?” Well, duh sister. What she said next was ingenious and post worthy. “You can’t be the best mother, the best employee, the perfect homemaker, or the attentive loving wife, who takes amazing care of themselves, all at the same time… You can, however, be excellent at two of them.” She went on to say, “if she is a great employee and mother one day, than she is not such a great wife (no s-e-x for you husband, sorry) and the house is a little messy.” She just tries to always be great at one, hopefully two, maybe three, but NEVER four. Makes sense, right? Now, balancing self, life and parenting seems manageable! I know that lately, I have been an excellent blogger (well, with staying on track, anyway), a mediocre mom (I mean all the neglect from writing the blog isn’t winning me any awards), and a decent, mostly burn-out wife, and a horrible homemaker (the dust is out-of-control and we have had take-out the last two nights). Again, I, and my husband, blame the blog on the latter two. However, now that I know it just doesn’t make sense to try to be mediocre at all of them or excellent at two of them, I can just make a schedule (I am sure a Pinterest worthy one) of which ones I want to focus on, on certain days. Mondays could be homemaker, mommy days…Tuesdays can be husband, and self day…etc, etc. This can work, people! Again, you’re welcome! It is all about setting realistic expectations. If you let go of the er’s, focus on being the best you can, with what you have in two, maybe three of your roles, contentness will follow. Sounds perfect to me. Well, everything other than letting my house be messy. Afterall, I am a “Magazine Mom“. I have an image to up hold.

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