Today, I came across comedian Jason Goods blog post “46 Reasons My 3 Year Old Might be Freaking Out” and I couldn’t help but immediately come up with my own educated guesses as to what triggers my “spirited child” to spiral into thermal nuclear meltdowns. Truthfully, most of these are not guesses, but truths I have gathered watching nearly every move she has made since birth. Pathetic, I know, but not as pathetic as some of these. It is not easy being three…
You look at her when she is not expecting it.
She has touched, or stepped in, bodily fluid (could even be her own).
You ask her if she is hurt.
She has an itch.
Her pants have a tag.
She didn’t get to put the toothpaste on her toothbrush herself.
Her poop wasn’t an immaculate.
Her pancake was not in the correct shape.
We didn’t understand what she was saying.
Her little brother crawled to closely (shudder – he may even touch her).
The peanut butter went on after the jelly.
Her favorite green marker has dried out.
The head on her sticker “gurl” has ripped off.
She has sand in her shoe.
A mosquito is within a 100-yard radius.
You chime in on a song SHE is singing.
Dinner was not potstickers night.
You ask the wrong question.
Her “Minnie” shirt is in the wash.
The band-aid on her thumb is the wrong character.
Her brother slobbers on one of her stuffed animals.
She left her stuffed animal at home.
You tell her she has 10 minutes left to play.
Her hair has a tangle.
The computer is too slow (this one irks me too)
You are standing in her view of the television.
She has a nail.
Her friends don’t want to have an animal party.
You don’t hear her.
Her trinkets get re-arranged ( I might be to blame on this one, OCD much?).
She has “spicy” mouth.
She has snot.
Who wouldn’t freak out…right?
Ahh…to be young.