Day 10: behind the black door ~ disturbing behavior

Have you ever just been down right disturbed by your child’s behavior? I sure have. All too many really…especially with my feisty temperamental daughter. However, today, was the worst I have yet to experience with the boy.

Let me paint you a picture –

Two friends (and their adorable children) sitting together in a living room, chatting together about their day, shoe desires, and listening to the music playing through the computer so the children (very close in age) could have a dance party. The children sitting on the mommies laps, enjoying one another, when all of sudden (literally out of nowhere), the boy does a ninja straight-arm hand move across the open gap between them, and practically pokes the other child’s eye out.

Though the boy has shown signs of pseudo-aggression before, this one, just felt SO wrong.

Disturbing.

I was mortified, embarrassed, empathetic (for the two others in this story), disappointed, angry, and down right sick to my stomach. So much so, that I (of all people), was lost for words.

After giving him a well deserved time-out, I put on his shoes, apologized for his disturbing behavior, packed up our things, exchanged a few remorseful words with my friend, and left.

I am still just stunned.

He is such a fun, energetic, sweet boy, and I am not sure if he did this vindictively, or for a reaction. It felt vindictive. But does he think/feel that? What was going through his head? Is this just impulse at its worst?

I told you that behind this door, there is the good, the bad and ugly of motherhood and parenting. This is the ugly.

The ugliness that I feel about myself as a parent. This is the stuff no one wants to discuss, or have known, and certainly not blogged about. But this is me. This is how I deal with what life throws my way. I write, I vent, and I talk it through. Painstakingly to those closest to me, I am sure.

At the end of the day, the other child was fine, unharmed, just shocked. Like myself. I feel as though I handled the situation well, and my friendship will remain intact.

It was just disturbing. A feeling that is unsettling and mind-boggling.

I just wish, I could understand why my children say and do certain things. I am aware that I will never know, but it sure makes me feel better talking about it with all of you.

Xoxo,
Magazine Mom

circle1This is post is part of a 31 day series. To read more and follow along, click here.

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