Day 16: behind the black door~ temper tantrums flare

What a day. Seriously. It began the second I opened my eyes and discovered I had a headache, and ‘the boy’ was up early – crying. Since that moment, he has whinned, cried, and thrown temper tantrums all day. Really. After destroying my house, ripping off his diaper, refusing to put his clothes on because his beloved Thomas the Train shirt was in the washing machine, I finally got him dressed, put him in the car, and drove, and drove, and drove. All the way to have my temper tantrum at Home Goods (not to the nearest Fire station).
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As I learned during Dr. Mah’s lecture, temper tantrums are not just for kids. He clued us in, that eating, shopping, and drinking, are simply the adult version of the kicking, hitting, screaming, throwing themselves to the floor type that my children have. I used to think of it solely as “therapy,” but, now when my mom tells me that “I have never had a temper tantrum,” I can enlighten her. I have them all the time. Why else do I {occasionally} binge drink, over-eat, and over-shop (even if it is at garage sales, thrift shops, and other discount stores)?

Just when I thought my day of tantrums couldn’t get any worse, my 20 minute drive to Home Goods was a complete and total waste of time. The rug I had envisioned for my bedroom was not there. The only thing that was there, was my son, lying on the floor, surrounded by Cheecha Puffs that he thrown, crying and flailing about because I wouldn’t let him take home the push toy I let him push through the store to allow me to shop. Argh.

So instead, I let the anger brew inside me, and waited for the perfect time to unleash it, which fortunately, my daughter gave me.  Her lunch time melt down, of screaming at the top of her lungs, because I did not have the lunch option she desired, and demanded, repeatedly, I was and I quote, “The worst mom, ever!” After she told me she hated me, and her crying brother, I sent her to her room. I carried her actually, and only after yelling at her first. Mother of the year.

I don’t know how some of you moms do it. How do you not let your anger get the best of you and snap at your children? Or do you, and you just don’t say you do?

I try to use ‘love and logic’ when dealing with poor behavior and bad decisions, but sometimes the “uh, oh’s”, and “what a bummers” simply don’t cut it. I guess I just need to drink, eat and shop instead? Kidding. Well sort of.

I will say, my daughters tantrums have mostly subsided. She went from having crazy, demonist tantrums, 3 times a week, to maybe having one a month. Huge improvement. The boy on the other-hand, has “typical” toddler tantrums daily. My hope is, that because he is “more typical” he won’t have demonist ones later, like his big-sis. She never had “typical” throw yourself, kick, flail and cry tantrums. Hers have always been extreme. She is just pretty extreme, and passionate about everything. Though they are great qualities to have, they can be challenging to manage.

What is the best way to manage a tantrum? I know I try to ignore them. I make sure, they, and the people around them, are safe, and let them have it (so to speak). The onlookers around us probably wish I had a different approach, but quite honestly, I don’t. I am not sure if you know this, but children don’t come with a manual. I know, crazy!

This blog is my manual. My way to get it out, on paper (virtual), examine it, and learn from it. Your comments help the manual grow. Maybe between all of us, we just might get it right.

Otherwise, I will once again be singing, “they’re coming to take me away, ho ho, hee hee…!” Maybe you can join me there? It’s supposed to be beautiful.

This is my being playful, btw. Remember? It’s important!

Xoxo,
Mother of the year (aka Magazine Mom)

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