A four-letter word kind-of-day {week}.

Last night, I frantically looked up at my calendar, while vacuuming the kitchen floor, and realized that the meeting I was supposed to attend, started at 7:00 pm, not 7:30 like I thought. Given it was 6:55 pm, I said a half-assed good-bye to the hubby, quickly kissed my kiddos goodnight, and drove like a bat out of hell to the meeting location. I was six minutes late (totally unacceptable in my book), looking disheveled, definitely not magazine material, only to see boy scouts in the meeting room. Given I was there for a girl scout meeting it wasn’t too far off, but a little suspect. A nice mom, approached me…

me: Is this the girl scout magazine/nut meeting?
nice mom: No, this is a cub scout meeting.
me: Is today the 18th?
nice mom: No, today is the 17th.
me: Oh, great.
nice mom: Well, at least you are a day early and not a day late.
me: you’re right  (what I really wanted to say: f*ck!). Have a nice night.

As I drove away, perplexed, I decided to go be productive and do some grocery shopping. I went to Safeway (which I never do), because I needed a few items I can only find there. I opted to do the self-check simply because the one checker lane was crowded with college boys buying beer and frozen entrees.

BIG mistake. Huge (for those of you not born in the 80’s, that was only one of the best lines from Pretty Women)! I had 10 items to purchase and I needed assistance 7 times. Never again will I do a self-check. Never. I will pay the “extra money” and shop at Nugget and trader Joe’s where they are friendly faces to ring up my items and bag them for me.

Immediately after getting in the car, I called a friend to tell her about my evening, and the fact that I have officially “lost my mind.”. I said more f-bombs in that 5 minute conversation, than I have since having children.

This week has been crazy or “cray cray” as the urban hipsters are saying (it just makes me feel old when I say it).

When did that happen, btw?
Me, getting old?

I blame kindergarten.

Since my daughter has started Kindergarten, I have less time to myself, more dementia (a clear sign of old age), and I am loosing my cool factor by the minute. Well, self-proclaimed coolness anyway.

My daughter’s school is from 8:15-11:35. We leave the house at 8 to walk there. Well, I walk, Harlan rides in the stroller and Elle rides her scooter I then have to leave my house at 11:15 to go pick her up. Last year, her school was from 9-noon so this is a big change in morning routine. For that hour and a half, I a running around with a chicken with my head cut off to get anything I need to get done, done.
My outfits are becoming more and more “Davis,” and my general style is lack-luster. Not to mention, for the second day in a row, I have put my sons shirt on backwards.

Who does that?
Me.

My daughter does wear two different shoes everyday, but that is her fashion choice, not my ding batty-ness.

Let’s see, I also told my mother-in-law the wrong place to pick-up my daughter yesterday, and I have thought everyday was a day later than it was.

Clearly, I need to SLOW DOWN, get more organized, and find some Zen in all the chaos.

I don’t know how all you moms with 3+ kids who have soccer practice, ballet, swim lessons, karate, baseball, rainbow loom class, art, basketball etc., and have kids at 3 different schools, manage!? I want what you are having! Not the children, but what ever you are taking to survive!

Tell me the truth… it’s booze isn’t it?

I keep saying I need to drink more.

My sister would say, “I need to be more in the present.” One of these days, I will get around to reading the book she quotes so I actually know what the heck she is talking about.

For now, I will try to refrain from saying the forbidden four-letter words like SH!T, F*CK! Well maybe just this last time. I will try and say four-letter words like SLOW DOWN instead.

A few weeks ago I bought this, yoga “Shiva” head (I think that is her name, forgive me if I am wrong) to inspire me to slow down, and find my Zen, and to sign-up for the yoga I have been talking about. So far, it is just a really awesome addition to my fabulous office.

baby steps.

XOXO,
Magazine Mom